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U is for Unconditional

April 25, 2014 Sally Al-Ashari
U

To love unconditionally is to accept the person you're with for all their flaws and love them no matter what, to obey without question to keep the husband happy and pleased wile disregarding your own happiness, dreams and aspirations. Most of the women in my culture would be okay with that,  most of them wouldn't really fight it but I say no. I guess that makes me kind of an oddity, I suppose. I don't really believe in unconditional love and obedience. I'd be more open to give it to my cat than to someone else, love that is. This notion of obedience and love that this culture and society has really bothers me, it had always bothered me. It's something that comes with arranged marriage and what bothers me about that is the guy has a template in mind that his mother goes around to see if a girl fits it and that template is usually: Sweet, good cook, good home keeper, obedient, can stay home.. etc. Now I know that not everyone is like this and not every guy is like in this society but what bothers me with that is that men go into this sort of thing wanting to change a girl into something that fits them and girls do the same thing. If you don't like the person, just say no. Don't try to mold them into something you want them to be, something that fits you.

Some would think that unconditional love or even obedience is a good thing. A friend of mine was in a relationship with someone who demanded her utmost obedience and acceptance and love. She was the type of girl that would give up her life for this person and give up everything, well not everything but close enough. He'd tell her how to dress, who to talk to, who to not talk to and she was completely alright with that and to me that's not healthy. In a healthy relationship you're supposed to be able to give and take on a fair and balanced level and expecting or giving unconditional love will just eliminate all and any kind of healthy boundaries and limits a relationship needs to stay afloat.

Unconditional is not romantic, it just means that you'll accept everything this person has to throw at you, the good with the bad and while acceptance is a good thing, a line has to be drawn somewhere and I guess where that line is drawn is different to each and every one of us.

In A to Z Challenge [2014] Tags 2014 A to Z challenge, acceptance, against, arranged, culture, love, marriage, obedience, romance, surrender, U is for, Unconditional, vow
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